This post is more for me to organize my thoughts. So when me and Bryan first got married, we talked about how we wanted 4 kids (you have to have an even number for playing games and going on rides at amusement parks. 2 wasn't enough and 6 was too many). We also decided that as long as we were in a position where we were able to support a kid, Bryan trusted me on the timing of them because I was going to be the main caregiver. (He said this, however, he did try to heavily influence me to have 4 in 4 years. So, looking back, it's a very good thing we put the decision on timing into my hands.) I was 24 when we got married and we waiting 2 years before we got pregnant, so because I was feeling like A)I was getting a little older when we had Jacob and B)I did a lot of things before I got married and me and Bryan had time after we got married that now was the time to focus on kids and not worry about things I wanted to do for a while. So having another kid right after Jacob was a pretty easy decision - Jacob was the best baby in the world, I had a ton of energy and was getting plenty of sleep, and we were enjoying being parents.
So then Gus came.
As I wrote in a previous post, it's been hard. But manageable. I've thought for a while that with Jacob and Gus 1 year apart, Gus and the next baby could be 2 years apart - have the baby in March/April and just squish all the birthdays together. Plus, I like being pregnant in the winter. So with that scheduling in mind, now we really have to decide - can we really handle another one? Can we handle me being pregnant with the possibility of bed rest with an active 2 year old and 1 year old? Do we really want a 3 year old, a 2 year old and a newborn or do we want the older two a little older? On the supporting side, can we support another one - that would mean maybe 3 in diapers if Jacob doesn't get his act together and formula. We'd need a bigger car, (preferably getting a new car so we have 2 cars, not just trading in the one we have) and the added expenses of insurance, gas and repairs. We're moving next week knowing this is a temporary move (a future post), so wherever we move next we'd have to pay for a bigger place.
I know if we feel like it's the right thing to do then things will fall into place. This move that we're making next week is a huge blessing - we won't have to pay rent as long as we're there, which will be a big help to get our savings in order. It's just the worst case scenarios that we can't help imagining. Bryan said it's like going from man-to-man coverage to zone and zone coverage never works. He's also worried they've gotten rid of all of the good babies and now they're only sending down little devils. Plus the idea that we'll have another human that's 100 percent dependent on us. That's a little nerve-racking. And the fact that if it's another boy......well, yeah. I want a girl :)
2 comments:
Good Luck. I would say, be open to whatever the Lord says, and then he'll let you know what is right. While we will only have done 4 kids in 5 years....it is way faster than I want, and feel I can handle....but I know it is the right timing and there is a reason for it. Finances (while never easy) have always worked out and we have actually been debt and have money in the bank, even though our family keeps growing and unplanned expenses keep popping up. If you don't feel it's the right time...then no worries! If you feel it's the right time, then worry because you will have your hands full...he he he. Nice job scoring free rent!
I love your blog so much and am wishing you the best!
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